I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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