Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
