yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
