If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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