I'm gonna have a badass scar
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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