: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
