there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
