Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
