so let's talk penis.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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