I feel like abortions should bother me more
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize