I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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