i just had sex bonerless
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize