About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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