so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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