Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
