The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
