How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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