just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
