Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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