She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
