She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
