you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He passed out mid-signature
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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