But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize