shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
