yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
