...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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