Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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