i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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