we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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