Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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