Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
