Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
