I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When did angry sex become our thing?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I touched a dick in church today
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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