I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
