Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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