He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
