I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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