I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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