i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
