I need help removing her.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
