I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
