haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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