Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
