well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
