Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I haven't been this sober since birth.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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