I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
