Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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