Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
