you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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