I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
