Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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