i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
