this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Shame - the story of my life.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
