how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
