I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
