Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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